Yeshe Zangmo

[Yeshe Zangmo was 34 years old in 2006.]

Yeshe Zangmo, 2007.

Yeshe Zangmo: I entered Gebchak Nunnery when I was nineteen. My first retreat was to complete the 400,000 preliminary practices. After that I did the mantra accumulation retreat of Vajrakilaya[1], and then 100 sets of Nyung Naes[2]. And then I began my three-year retreat. It’s been five or six years now since I completed it.

My practice group is that of Dorje Trolo [Wrathful Padmasambhava], and I am presently the drubpon [retreat leader] of this retreat division. This means that I have to recite the daily protector prayers, which takes about three hours. So far I’ve been the drubpon for two years, and I have one year left. All of the nuns in my retreat division take turns holding this responsibility for three years.

All of the nuns in my retreat group live together happily, as we’ve spent so much time together.

Question: Why did you first become a nun at Gebchak Nunnery?

Yeshe Zangmo: I knew that samsara is meaningless and I was happy to become a nun. My parents supported me in coming here. Gebchak is the most famous for its practice among all the monasteries and nunneries in Nangchen.

Q: During all the years of intensive retreat practice that you’ve done, has your mind transformed?

Yeshe Zangmo: Yes, it has transformed!

Q: How so?

Yeshe Zangmo: In a good way. My mind has turned from samsara and I know now that samsara is no good. I only ever think to stay here at Gebchak Nunnery, and my mind is happy.

Wangdrak Rinpoche is very kind. Because of his kindness in providing us food, Gebchak Nunnery is a very joyful place. I only want to stay here at Gebchak Nunnery.

Q: What is your main practice?

Yeshe Zangmo: Meditation. My personal deity is Dorje Drolo.

Q: Why is samsara meaningless?

Yeshe Zangmo: Samsara has no happiness, only suffering, and so there is no joy. There are the sufferings of heat and cold in the hell realms, hunger and thirst in the hungry ghost realm, stupidity and exploitation in the animal realm … in every place in samsara it is all suffering. It’s the same for the gods and demi-gods. All of the six realms are suffering. Aren’t they??

Q: And yet you say your mind is so happy. You have poor facilities here – the food is not so good, nor are the buildings, the weather is freezing cold in the winter, and every night you stay in a meditation box. If most people saw your meditation box and the conditions that you live in, they would be aghast and see it as suffering! So why are you so happy?

Yeshe Zangmo: Because my mind is happy.

Q: When you were a child did you hear many teachings about the sufferings of samsara?

Yeshe Zangmo: I heard these teachings from my root lama, Pema Drimey, after I came to Gebchak Nunnery.

Yeshe Zangmo: Do you still have your parents? [The interviewer nods yes]. If you have no parents it is sad. I have an older brother and sister, two younger brothers and a younger sister. I’m in the middle. None of them are monks or nuns. They come once a year to bring me tsampa, wheat and rice.

Q: Do you have any money?

Yeshe Zangmo: No. I plan to stay at Gebchak until I die. I don’t think about going anywhere else.

Q: How is your health?

Yeshe Zangmo: It’s good, except for my eye. Since I’ve been at Gebchak Nunnery I have read the Kangyur twenty times, together with the rest of the nuns. Now my eyes give me problems. The electricity is not good.

Q: Are you afraid of death?

Yeshe Zangmo: Yes, I’m afraid. I could die today, or tomorrow – nobody knows. So I’m afraid.

[1] Vajrakilaya: Tib – རྡོ་རྗེ་ཕུར་པ།, a wrathful deity embodying enlightened activity. This deity is noted for being the most powerful for removing obstacles and destroying non-compassionate forces.
[2] Nyung Nae: a two-day purification of Chenrezig. On the second day the practitioner may not speak, eat, nor drink anything, and on both days many hundreds of prostrations are performed.

Note: Interview conducted in July, 2006, at Gebchak Gonpa, and translated by Tenzin Chozom.